“HAY FEVER COSTS BRITISH BUSINESS £7.1BN A YEAR IN LOSS OF PRODUCTIVITY”

Surprisingly the company behind this one isn’t a peddler of miracle cures, or even a part of Big Pharma: it’s Kleenex. Flying in the face of their delightful Let It Out™ campaign, they’re now advising hay fever sufferers on how to keep it in. Kleenex hay fever consultant (that’s Kleenex hay fever consultant) Professor Jean Emberlin has dispensed her Top Tips for beating hay fever in the workplace, which include carrying hay fever medication… and a packet of tissues, naturally.

Professor Emberlin is the director of the National Pollen and Aerobiology Research Unit, who do much more than abuse Comic Sans: they also forecast the UK’s pollen count, and as a department of the University of Worcester they carry out research into hay fever treatments. Past projects include their research into natural product Nasaleze (check out that study design and the details of the  control group), and a future project will see them testing the Lloyds Allergy Reliever, a device which looks scarily similar to… AN Health’s Medinose.

At least their advice to Kleenex looks entirely sensible.